Baby is now quite the little traveler! This past month he – and we – had a huge adventure in that we flew to visit our families for two weeks. My husband and I had been anticipating this trip for months, and felt great excitement and expectation but also some uncertainty about the logistics, as travelling with a baby felt like such unknown territory. Amidst trying to prepare as much as we could, we decided that we wanted to try to focus on connection and presence, while also trying to consider both the ups and downs that would occur as an adventure. And it turns out that, as anticipated, our family trip certainly was an adventure – an adventure that was deeply meaningful and filled with love, and that also included many firsts.
One big first was that Baby had his very first plane flight! After days of packing and anticipation and preparation we arrived at the airport with: 2 large suitcases to check, one heavy car seat in a neon yellow carrying bag, one stroller, Baby’s carry-on suitcase, Baby’s large diaper bag, Baby’s small diaper backpack, a computer bag, a baby carrier, and – Baby!!! My husband and I could not help but laugh at ourselves when we saw all that we were carrying along with us and when we reflected on how much our lives have changed since previous flights we have taken together as a couple.
In particular we remembered back to our honeymoon, when, waiting at the gate, we saw a harried young mother with her children, bustling around looking stressed and rushed and generally overwhelmed. I remember us watching her with wonder as we noticed how different our lives seemed to be from hers, in a way that was hard to fathom. Sitting so quietly as a couple, we felt as though flying was a restful time to sit close to one another and talk and read and play games – in sum, almost a vacation in and of itself. In contrast, flying looked to be the hardest of work for that young mother. We thought of that particular mother several times on this trip, and couldn’t help but find humor in how many things we had and how much more cumbersome it was to get around and how, in all likelihood, to others we had become the frazzled young parents. We are now beginning to appreciate flying for the great logistical feat it is, at least when flying with children! I can only imagine what I will feel if we ever have any more kids – although some grandmothers who were admiring Baby in the airport jokingly shared with us that while you pack everything for your first baby, as number of children increase you become increasingly minimalistic until you likely reach a point where all you believe you need is a diaper, a change of clothes, and perhaps a snack. If that is indeed true, what we brought on our first flight for Baby could someday suffice for a family of about 20!
Yet in all seriousness, while I think both my husband and I felt some stress and pressure around logistical details, and we sometimes miss aspects of our more “carefree” days as just two, we wouldn’t trade being three for anything in the world. Our stress was undoubtedly overshadowed by the deep joy and delight and love we felt for one another, and by our sense of gratitude for being able to go somewhere as an entire family. I must also note that, in spite of all my initial concern, Baby actually was a natural traveler. After a quick nap in the airport to replenish his spirits, he was able to enjoy watching planes out the window of the airport from up on Daddy’s shoulders. Once on the airplane we sat so that I – with Baby on my lap – was next to the window, and Daddy was in the middle. Baby loved looking out the window during takeoff, and my husband and I loved sharing this special moment with him. It was a beautiful moment in so many ways – it was during that magical twilight hour when the sun was low in the sky and light took on a mysterious and beautiful quality. The sky was alight in orange and red contrasted with the deep purple and blue of the thunderstorms brewing below us, and the clouds had a quality that was simultaneously both substantial and fleeting. Our dear baby gazed out the window and we pointed at the sky and the various lights in view – from both the plane wing as well as the city and car lights growing ever more distant below. Sitting next to my husband, with both of us enjoying our baby enjoying this unprecedented experience of the world, my heart felt so full. After gazing out the window for awhile, our little baby fell asleep in the baby sling against my chest. Never have I had such a cozy and snuggly flight – and how I am trying to soak up these moments of closeness while my dear baby is still small enough to snuggle against me in this way.
Once we landed, we spent a week with Daddy’s family and then a week with Mommy’s family. We had some grand moments, but so many of the little everyday moments were just as special. It was also such a priceless experience to get to participate in the layering of favorite old memories with the creation of new memories. Following are some of the especially notable moments I have been cherishing:
Moments with Daddy’s family:
- Family time in the giant church van – Grandpa, Grandma, both uncles, Mommy, Daddy, and Baby all got to ride together! Baby loved getting to interact with everyone while driving, and also seemed quite amazed at looking out the giant windows from such a tall vantage point.
- Family brunch – This is something we used to love to do before Baby, and it was even more special and enjoyable doing with him along. Brunch seemed to suit him just as well as it does us!
- First time seeing the ocean – As a family, we visited the oceanside city where my husband and I had our very first official date. We told Baby this is where it all began.
- Strolling with Grandpa – He looked so proud and happy pushing Baby in his stroller.
- Reading with Grandma – Baby was especially delighted when she read him and his stuffed doggy toy a doggy book that even included her making barking sound effects.
- First time at a theme park – He even got to watch his uncle perform at a show here, and seemed so excited about the music!
- Playing with his uncles – They connected in many playful yet tender moments and genuine joy. I love seeing this new side of my husband’s and my brothers.
- Meeting great grandparents – He even got a family picture with four generations! He is the first great grandchild – just like he is the first grandchild for both my and my husband’s parents.
- Entering in to community – Baby got to meet Grandma and Grandpa’s church community, and many family friends, and was welcomed with love.
- Meeting Mommy’s friends – He got to meet some of my dear college friends.
- Seeing Baby’s delight in being around other people – He truly seemed to light up, even though he also got sleepy by the end of the day. He seems to be a truly social little bub.
- Date nights – It was so refreshing to have Grandma and Grandpa babysit after we put Baby to bed, so we could go out!
- Baby’s remarkable flexibility – I learn about flexibility through being a parent, but also can learn about it from my baby’s example. He is remarkably good at being present and trying new things!
Moments with Mommy’s family:
- First time staying in a hotel – We stayed as a family in a hotel near where Baby’s uncle lives; Baby not only got to enjoy extra family time but also treats such as breakfast in the lobby and snuggles in bed with my husband and I as we watched a late night movie.
- Playing with uncle – I loved seeing them mutually delight in one another. Uncle hadn’t seen Baby since baby was a newborn, so the ways he has grown were especially apparent and enjoyable.
- First time playing in the sand and getting in the ocean (just his toes) – He seemed to love it, and kept trying to tug us back to the waves when we held on to his hands to help him “walk”. He was initially alarmed by the sand sticking to his hands and feet, but once he realized it was okay, he seemed to relish the messiness. I too love playing in sand!
- First time going swimming in the pool and hot tub – He got to swim with Nana and Papa in my childhood home, where I myself used to love to swim when I was Baby’s age. He also loved sitting in Mister Crab, the cute little floatie toy Nana and Papa got him.
- Nana and Papa time – I loved seeing my parents delight in Baby in ways big and small, from swimming with him to imitating his sounds to sitting on the floor with him to being silly with him and just generally loving him. And I loved seeing him connect with them.
- Making friends with a doggy – He got to meet my little childhood dog, who loves children. He was initially afraid of her, but quickly came around as he realized she was gentle and friendly.
- Being a team – I really enjoyed how my husband and I got to grow in our relationship in the sense of being both an effective co-parenting team but also a couple.
- Resting – It was so refreshing to have family around to both enjoy and help out with Baby. This means at times, my husband and I even got to rest at the same moment, and to go on some dates!
There are, of course, countless other memories I could share, and I would still not be able to fully capture how special of a time it was or how grateful I feel. Baby was so incredibly flexible and joyful and sociable and gracious and present, and I think my husband and I were indeed able to focus on connection and presence after all. While I think we all had moments of feeling tired, overall we all deeply cherished moments shared with family. There truly is nothing like being with family, and experiencing the multiplying sense of love and joy that occurs within and amongst family: my husband and I love our families and being around them, and love seeing Baby enjoy being with family, and seeing family enjoy being with him, which of course increases our own sense of love and joy – on and on in a recursive and seemingly infinite loop. Once again, my heart is so full.